JMJ
I came across this reflection in 12-step addiction recovery and immediately sensed its applicability to healing from sin itself. So often we treat overcoming sin as a matter of brute force in our own strength and through our own willpower.
True recovery from sin though comes through surrender to God’s will, repentance for succumbing to our own flawed will, and cooperating with God’s grace to heal our wounds, our scars, and our fears. This reflection reminds us that proudly relying on our own willpower (easily influenced by our flesh, the world, and the enemy) is a fool’s errand and that we ought to surrender more and more each day to God’s will for every moment of our lives through prayer, study, and discernment – and most importantly willingness.
Reflection
If I am willing to be sinless, this is a state of great humility.
If I am trying to be sinless, this is a state of great frustration.
A willingness to be sinless implies that I don’t know how.
Trying to be sinless implies that I know how, but can’t come up with the right formula.
A willingness to be sinless involves acceptance.
Trying to be sinless involves self-condemnation.
If I am willing to be sinless, I am open to receiving it.
If I am trying to be sinless, I am closed to guidance.
If I am trying to be sinless, I will fear failure.
If I am willing to be sinless, even ‘failure’ may be used as a learning device.
If I am willing to be sinless, and consciously choose to do so, God will empower my choice, if I ask God to do so.
Prayers
Lord, I offer myself to thee – to build with me and to do with me as thou wilt.
Relieve me of the bondage of self, that I may better do thy will.
Take away my difficulties, that victory over them may bear witness to those I would help of thy power, thy love, and thy way of life.
May I do thy will always.
Amen.
Lord, I am now willing that you should have all of me, good and bad.
I pray that you remove from me every single defect of character which stands in the way of my usefulness to you and my fellows.
Grant me strength as I go out from here to do your bidding.
Amen.
How do I see this tension between willingness and self-will playing out in my own life?
Saunter 